Find Your Iron - By Malcolm

Being the center of attention sounds rough. But when you are only this way because your 6’3 and 115lb’s and blocking the front board – You might look at it a little different. I grew up near the coast outside of Gulf Shores, Florida. I was raised by both my parents and from the outside looking in things might have looked alright. Though when it came to the reality of my life, I was far from happy. My mother worked hard to make sure our family was taken care of financially. Though even though we had money, no one seemed to be happy.

I was raised an only child and though I may have been the tallest one in the room, I was far from the most popular. At home, I was never really able to connect with my father. At a young age, it was silence, though as I got older it began to transform into verbal confrontations. So, on both ends of my life growing up I felt pretty dysfunctional. Even though I had more than some. To me, it was never the tangible goods that I desired, but a sense of belonging and feeling of being understood.

Being the center of attention sounds rough. But when you are only this way because your 6’3 and 115lb’s and blocking the front board – You might look at it a little different. I grew up near the coast outside of Gulf Shores, Florida. I was raised by both my parents and from the outside looking in things might have looked alright. Though when it came to the reality of my life, I was far from happy. My mother worked hard to make sure our family was taken care of financially. Though even though we had money, no one seemed to be happy.

"Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pocket." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I was raised an only child and though I may have been the tallest one in the room, I was far from the most popular. At home, I was never really able to connect with my father. At a young age, it was silence, though as I got older it began to transform into verbal confrontations. So, on both ends of my life growing up I felt pretty dysfunctional. Even though I had more than some. To me, it was never the tangible goods that I desired, but a sense of belonging and feeling of being understood.

It was not until my sophomore year of high school that I found the weight room. As soon as I picked up my first dumbbell, I knew my life would change for the better. I now know that my biggest obstacle in life was always myself. I would often look in the mirror and talk myself down for my appearance. I was skinny, tall, and not where I wanted to be. All these factors together put me down a dark road with fleeting happiness. But the iron changed that. I began lifting weights as a way to look good, but it quickly developed into so much more. It gave me an opportunity to be someone different, someone new, someone better. It was at the gym that for once in my life I felt in control. I have yet been able to learn more about myself, than when I finish with a set of squats that leave me shaking and gasping for air. Seeing myself grow physically caused a revelation for me in all areas of my life. I began to carry myself with respect. I no longer had the same fears or self-doubts. Being able to do things with a barbell that I had never done before made me realize – I can do it.

"Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Teddy Roosevelt

This new mindset had allowed me to learn more from the world around me. I was able to appreciate things differently, and I had learned that nothing comes without hard work and a certain level of pain. Around this time my parents divorced, and I was left alone and continue lifting to hide the pain. The iron was the enemy. I desired to move something that did not want to be moved, or so I believed. After this period, I was able to realize that it was never the enemy, but my greatest ally. I can not say things about my past do not still affect me from time to time, but I can say now with confidence that I have a better understanding. Because of these experiences over time, I have been able to realize that my parent’s divorce was necessary for their happiness, and even though it was hard, it was worth it. Through all of this, I too was able to realize what true strength was. I refuse to be shaken from my course in life by such little things. What I had pushed against had slowly pushed against me. Allowing me to become that which did not want to be moved.

Through my journey in life so far, I have accomplished many personal feats and continuously challenge myself. I became a part of the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity in fall of 2017. An opportunity that allowed me to meet a lot of great guys and break out of my shell. Currently, I am pursuing a bachelor’s degree in exercise science, with plans to head onto physical therapy school afterward. I actively participate in community service, social events, and always look to push myself and those around me in and out of the gym. It was through all my experiences in life that I was able to truly understand the importance of pain. For without the pain, I would have never been able to grow into the young man I am today. Overall, I have come to realize that the things and people that enter into our lives both good and bad can allow for the opportunity of growth.

I may not have grown up in the perfect household or had the best high school experience. But I have chosen to make the best of it. We are always sharing new experiences that shape and mold us. Why not let them shape you in a way that is positive, and will contribute to growth. It is very easy for many of us to fall into complacency or to be just good enough. That’s the plight of our generation. But I realized that, in the words of Jordan Peterson, “The world would be lesser if you do not take your place in it.” This is my only life, and I will live it to the fullest. That is why I’m a DreemChaser.

Sincerely,

M.L.

Ps: I will succeed